I digress

It is always nice to catch up with friends, and an even more incredible feeling to see a best friend you haven’t seen in what feels like two years, albeit only being two weeks.

I am sitting across from a friend, walls of laptops and piles of lined paper strewn between us. We’re studying (at least when I haven’t caught her browsing Facebook), and occasionally, we’ll look up from our assignments, peel away for only a few minutes from highlighted texts, and just talk about stuff. It’s during these quiet moments where, although I’m working, I am still preoccupied by the week’s concerns at the back of my mind. And it’s nice to know that I can finally talk mindlessly to a friend after a busy week.

We talk about our future sometimes, and today is one of those times.
We have unclear aspirations, if that makes any sense. I mean, we have an idea of what we want to do, an idea of what we don’t want to do with our lives, and still, there is a blurry line between them that we cannot define. She wants to do business, I want to write, but apart from that, we cannot seem to fathom our hobbies becoming a form of employment– and isn’t that the goal? To develop the skills needed in our area of studies for a future occupation? But as we talked, the only thing that became clear to me was how unclear I am about pretty much everything.

It’s a little comforting to know that there are many other people on this boat of uncertainty. It’s a phrase I hear a lot: Don’t worry. You’re not the only one. But this is only true to an extent. Sure, I’m not alone, but if you think about it, I am alone. Not a desolate, lonely kind of alone, but in a way that I am still my own person that I must take care of myself. I have my own responsibilities that others cannot complete, and some things in my life can’t be done with the help of others: some things I just have to do on my own, and that’s the scary part.

Anyway, I digress. I have poems to analyse, essays to write, and assignments that I cannot avoid any longer.
Until next time, friends.


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